Tone is one of those things that's notoriously difficult to read on the internet. I'm sympathetic to both of you, here - I can see how each of you felt the other was rude, and I can also see how each of you felt that her own word choices were valid and appropriate.

I really appreciate that both of you, while disagreeing about the appropriateness of the other's language, have stopped short of namecalling, egregious rudeness, etc. I'm a little worried that that won't stay the case if this discussion between you progresses much further. If the two of you want to talk about this together any longer on my journal, I'd like to ask you both to dial it back a few notches.