Yes, This is What Happened to Me Today

Steps to a truly bizarre afternoon:

1. Get a full nine hours of sleep, yet feel tired anyway.

2. Hang out casually with friends until around noon, doing nothing that is either stressful or could in any way be considered exertion or exercise.

3. Be exhausted anyway, and take a nap on your couch.

4. Wake up from the couch nap after an hour, and move the napping to the bed.

3. Dream about Jubilee/Wolverine for no apparent reason.

4. Have dream interrupted just as it was getting good by a phone call from your father, offering you a new computer monitor.

5. Realize that it’s quite late, and you’ve been sleeping all day. Go back to sleep anyway. Dream about living in the Sims 2 game, this time, and being able to move furniture about by simply touching it.

6. Ignore subsequent phone calls in favor of sleeping.

7. Wake up at five p.m. and decide that you really do need to get up, as it’s very late. Get out of bed, pick up telephone, and check phone messages.

8. While listening to message from your brother, pass out.

9. Hit mirror with head. Cut hand on shattered glass.

10. Get up once consciousness is regained, and go to bathroom to clean blood from hand.

11. Feel dizzy and nauseated while standing at sink, before bandage can be applied. Sit down on toilet.

12. Realize that you are still holding the phone. Call mother.

13. Wait for heroic mother to arrive and give you water, bandage your hand, and clean up the mirror.

14. Go to your mother’s house and do as little standing as possible.

15. Wonder what on earth could have caused all of this intense drowsiness and faintness. Consider iron intake. Make vague plans to see a doctor.

16. Feel badly about the mirror.

Congratulations! You have now had a truly bizarre afternoon!