First-Person Narrator

I was just flipping through a bridal magazine (I know, I know. At least I didn't actually pay for this one!), and came across a photo spread of thin, white, young women coyly posing in sexay white gowns, with copy alongside the images talking about "come-hither styles" and constant references to brides as "girls", but never "women." All focus in the copy was on clothing and accessories, and on tips for brides choosing gowns for themselves and the rest of their wedding party. No further substance.

The big title at the top of the feature? "Feminist Movement"

...What?

So, are there any Feminist Bride blogs or communities out there? Because while I'm happy to do my giddy "zomg I found the perfect shade of green for my napkins!!!" style stuff over at jamynflork, and perfectly ok with doing the sarcastic, slightly-horrified-with-myself-and-my-interest-in-this-ridiculous-process posts both here and there, as seems appropriate in each instance, I've got this sense that there have to be other women out there who are freaking out over the same things I am, and it'd be nice to be able to communicate with some of them.

God, this photo spread! I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

(I’m posting this here rather than at jamynflork because it’s about feminism as much as it is about the wedding, and I think that even people who don’t want to see pictures of potential dresses might be interested to read it)

I guess I expected that when Jameson and I decided to get engaged, I’d soon be experiencing some frustration about patriarchal cultural assumptions and marriage. I knew I’d have some discussing to do with various people in my life about the whole last name issue, and whatever decisions Jameson and I ultimately make about that (and I expect that that’s gonna be one of those conversations that just keeps on happening forever and ever. Yay). I’ve felt since I was very young that being “given away” at the altar by one man to another man was not a thing I wanted for myself. While I love my father, and wish very much to honor his part in my upbringing at my wedding, I’m not his property, and I won’t be Jameson’s, either. The hand-off won’t be in the ceremony, and I know I’ll have to answer questions about that.

I knew going in that, as a feminist, assertive young woman with some very definite ideas about what her wedding should and should not symbolize, I’d have a lot of rude questions ahead of me, and a lot of assumptions to subvert. I did know that.

I just didn’t expect it to start so soon.
( Oh, you better believe I’ve got more to say. )

I AM WEARING MY ENGAGEMENT RING.

It is gorgeous. Pictures to follow, just as soon as I can find some batteries for my digital camera!

On that note, I've decided to take jedilora's excellent suggestion, and make a little community in which I can do all of my wedding obsessing. That way, people who are interested can join up (or watch without joining, for those who are not on lj or don't want to join another comm - posts in the comm will probably never be locked), and people who like my regular journal just fine but don't want to hear about flower arrangements and bridesmaid dresses can remain happily unaware. Also! Jimmy will be able to post there, if I can ever get him to actually use his lj account.

So I told him this plan in the car today (on the way to pick up MY RING OMG), and asked what he thought I should name the new community. His response?

"We need one of those ship names! Like where they take the two characters' names and smush 'em together! Like GRAPE!"

Well, he proposed to me via computer, so I don't see why we should try to rein in the dorkiness now. So help us come up with a good ship name! If it helps, our full names are Robyn Claire Fleming and Jameson Kelly York.

[Poll #831391]

Jameson proposed. I said yes.
( Read more... )