I, Too, Can Bring It

So Karen and I were talking, as we do, and she tried to drag me in on this whole perfect guy/teenage crush poll thing. What poll thing, you ask? Well! It began when author Trish Doller proposed that Jake Ryan is a more perfect guy than Edward Cullen, and provided a scientific poll to prove it. Karen, however, believes that Gilbert Blythe is more perfect than Jake Ryan, and she too has science to bring to the table. And now Carla is saying that Oz is more perfect than Gilbert Blythe.

I love polls! And science! And guys! So I felt like I should really be a part of this. But, as I remarked to Karen, the guys I thought of as perfect when I was in the mad-crushing stage of teenageness weren't like Edward Cullen or Jake Ryan or Gilbert Blythe or even Oz. Mostly, I had the hots for Data.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I can prove that Data is a more perfect guy than any of those other dudes, and I can do it with science and a quotation:

TASHA: You are fully functional, aren't you?

DATA: Of course.

TASHA: How fully?

DATA: In every way, of course. I am programmed in . . . multiple techniques; a wide variety of pleasuring.

Yeah, that's right. I went there.

[Poll #1313140]