The Beetles in My Slippers Don't Bother Me At All

[revena]

Last night, as Karen and I puttered around in the kitchen, we discovered a roach. I flailed and squeaked, as I am wont to do when confronted by roaches (though not other insects. Idek), and Karen very valiantly squashed it. And then later, I was doing something else in the kitchen, and I saw a roach that was kind of partially squashed running across the floor. When I had finished jumping and yelping, I grabbed a book, wrapped it in a paper towel, and did a thorough smushing job.

And then I went to tell Karen about it! For SOME REASON, she wasn't actually thrilled to hear that either a) the first roach had survived her squashing and escaped the trash bag or b) there were two roaches in the kitchen in one night. She was clearly missing the point. The point about how I was awesome, and didn't run away shrieking. Annnnyway, I was quick to reassure her that, for some reason, there are always two roaches in the house when there's one.

"It's like the Sith," I explained. "There are always two: a master, and an apprentice."

This is why alla y'all wish you could come be my houseguests. I make you sleep in a room with a Barbie morgue, and there might be a pair of roaches at some point, but I will come into your room in the middle of the night and make hilarious geeky references for your amusement.

I'll also drive you to and from an Applebee's on a Saturday night so you can drink mudslides as big as your head. It's possible that Karen actually appreciates that part more.

Comments

[ladyjax]

So this is where I step in and say:

"Get out the hard stuff, we have ourselves an invasion!"

Two roaches brings back bad memories of when we first moved into our current place and had a major infestation. After two Raid fumigations (which involved me putting the fumigators out and running like mad for the door while my love waited outside with the pets) and a whole lot of Roach Pruf, we are roach free.

I'd totally visit you but would probably turn your home into a toxic dump in my quest to kill the critters.

[revena]

We get a couple of tree roaches in the house at about this time of year, but other than that we are happily free of them. Now, ants, on the other hand...

*shudder* Ugh, ants. Ugh ugh ugh.

[my_daroga]

I didn't know y'all had roaches, since we had them in Texas and Florida and I guess I assumed they needed moisture? I do remember having a SCORPION in the house, and blood-squirting horned toads and rattlesnakes and what-all outside. It was awesome. (Also jackrabbits and coyotes!)

[revena]

We don't have a roach problem here at our house, really, but my parents totally do. It sort of depends on how much moisture is available indoors, as well as what-all they can find to eat, I think.

No scorpions yet! But we have had jackrabbits and owls and eagles and hummingbirds in the backyard. Oh, and quail - those are Jimmy's favorite. And we hear coyotes about every other night, on average. But most of the wildlife stays out of the house, thank goodness.

[my_daroga]

Oh yes, forgot about the quail. Those are awesome. I saw a coyote in the yard, once. I used to see my dad off to work, very early, in the hopes I'd see stuff.

[seeksadventure]

I do wish to be your houseguest! Dead dolls! Roaches that miraculously come back to life! ALCOHOLIC DRINKS AS BIG AS MY HEAD. (Probably not a mudslide, though.) I could see you break bricks!

Stupid life, getting in the way.

[revena]

We are going to find a way to make a visit work one of these days, man. THIS, I VOW.

[seeksadventure]

YES WE WILL.

(Actually, if the Alaska trip falls through, I may just take off on the motorcycle and head your way. I will keep you updated as to the likelihood of this.)

[revena]

(You are always welcome!)