And Now, My -Wrists- Are on Fire...

[revena]

Phew. I have been a storytelling machine today. Also, a typing machine. And I can feel it. :-P

So I'm gonna call it a night, now that I've gone past the 1,000-word mark on Valmai #43. I did get (and fulfill) two requests tonight, though, so here they are:

zinaya_y2kewel asked me to write "Cats and cravings!", which I did, in fifty words:

“What’re you doing?” Zuul asked, as I ransacked my kitchen.

“I’m searching for chocolate Jameson might’ve left here accidentally,” I said. “I’m craving it hardcore.”

“Oh, man,” my cat sighed, rubbing sympathetically against my shins. “I know what that’s like! I would have killed for a fresh cricket, last week.”

And then mugglegirl0908 gave me the prompt "Tell me about the time your cat decided to accompany you to a martial arts lesson." And I did, in 100 words:

“This is ridiculous – let me show you how it’s done!”

I’d realized too late that Xerxes was asleep inside the bag I toted to my martial arts lessons. It was time to begin, already, so I’d decided to just let him watch.

“This is how you disarm an opponent!” he said, stalking onto the mat.

He flopped onto his back, exposing his soft, white-furred belly, and started purring.

“He’s so cute,” my assistant murmured.

“Sam, no!” I shouted.

But it was too late. Hypnotized, Sam had tried to pet Xerxes’s stomach.

It took hours to clean up all the blood.

I'm always a little amazed at the enduring popularity of my weird little cat stories. Why are these everyone's favorite? I'd be tempted to try and write some sort of novel-length version, or a collection of short stories, or something, and see if I couldn't become a published author on the strength of my cats' obnoxity... But I don't think I could handle their abuse for long enough to write anything lengthy.

Comments

[anariel-di-gaia.livejournal.com]

I've had this theory that the cats on my road are trying to take over the world for years, they have a whole command structure. There's a black cat who is the leader, a tabby who's in charge of security, a cute little white cat who is totally the propaganda co-ordinator and finally the tortoiseshell who is commander of their armies.

I love your cats, they're so funny, I want the fanfic cat.